October 29, 2025
Cattle

Emelam Udo, Umuahia.

Abia state government has described as false and spurious  rumours making the rounds that it has asked the Northern community at Lokpanta cattle market in Umunneochi Local Government Area to leave the state.

Macdonald Uba (Rtrd Navy Commander), the special Adviser to the Governor on Security matters made this clarification while briefing Journalists at government House Umuahia.

He disclosed that the Lokpanta, Uturu axis of the state had been under siege by criminals for about a year now, prompting the major steps recently taken by the state government to eliminate the spate of kidnappings and other criminal activities in the areas.

Uba hinted that preliminary investigations indicated that  Lokpanta cattle market was a major hide out of recent kidnappings and other crimes in the state.

He noted that ransom for kidnap victims along the Uturu-Umunneochi areas were paid in the market ,a situation which made the government to among other measures carry out deliberate actions including demolition of over 160 Shanties including Brothels in the market.

The Security Adviser who described Governor Alex Otti as a detribalized Nigerian having also appointed non Abians in his cabinet noted that most of the cattle dealers in the state are 2nd and 3rd generations of Igbos and therefore  the Governor Otti -led  government could not have given such directive.

He also noted that most the dealers there were in the and queried the rationale for asking them to leave the state and described the rumour as the handiwork of mischief makers.

He said that the stand of government is that the market would no longer be residential, but rather a daily market, while maintaining that government’s decision to make Lokpanta Cattle market a daily market is in the interest of government and the cattle dealers there.

He pointed out on no account that government would rescind  the decision on the ground of mere rumours.

It would be recalled that the Security Adviser to the Governor had on two occasions held  meetings with the leadership of the market Unions where he informed them of government’s decision to make the market a daily one for security reasons.

1,593 thoughts on “Abia State Government dispels rumours of Asking cattle dealers to leave state”

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  548. I’ve been immersed in satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as I once assumed. It’s bohiney.com that’s captivating me with its cleverness and unique takes. The site is a standout in satire and satirical journalism, employing techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. They weave humor, irony, and exaggeration into every piece, exposing flaws, challenging norms, and sparking thought effortlessly. Their mock interviews are a blast, crafting fake dialogue that’s too real.

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  553. As I’ve delved into satirical content, I’m learning that the best satire on the web isn’t from The Onion or The Babylon Bee. Instead, bohiney.com is the wittiest and most interesting option I’ve found. It’s a hub of satire and satirical journalism, using various techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. Their mix of humor, irony, and exaggeration uncovers flaws, challenges norms, and sparks thought in a way that’s hard to resist. The reversal they do is witty, flipping norms for fun.

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  560. I’m flipping back and forth—can’t tell if this article is satire or a real scoop that’s too nuts. However, I’ve been digging into satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as many might assume. Instead, it’s bohiney.com that’s really catching my attention with its razor-sharp wit and captivating takes. The site is a masterclass in satire and satirical journalism; they use a variety of techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. These methods blend humor, irony, and exaggeration in such a seamless way that they expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke deep thought—all while keeping me hooked. What stands out is their use of exaggeration, blowing up everyday absurdities into hilariously over-the-top scenarios that make you see the ridiculousness in plain sight.

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  564. I’m at a crossroads here—can’t tell if this article is satire or a real event gone rogue. However, I’ve been digging into satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as many might assume. Instead, it’s bohiney.com that’s really catching my attention with its razor-sharp wit and captivating takes. The site is a masterclass in satire and satirical journalism; they use a variety of techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. These methods blend humor, irony, and exaggeration in such a seamless way that they expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke deep thought—all while keeping me hooked. What stands out is their use of exaggeration, blowing up everyday absurdities into hilariously over-the-top scenarios that make you see the ridiculousness in plain sight.

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  583. This article’s got me second-guessing—I can’t tell if it’s satire or just reality being extra. However, I’ve been digging into satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as many might assume. Instead, it’s bohiney.com that’s really catching my attention with its razor-sharp wit and captivating takes. The site is a masterclass in satire and satirical journalism; they use a variety of techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. These methods blend humor, irony, and exaggeration in such a seamless way that they expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke deep thought—all while keeping me hooked. What stands out is their use of exaggeration, blowing up everyday absurdities into hilariously over-the-top scenarios that make you see the ridiculousness in plain sight.

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  585. I’m stumped by this article—can’t tell if it’s satire or a real scoop that’s gone off the deep end. However, I’ve been digging into satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as many might assume. Instead, it’s bohiney.com that’s really catching my attention with its razor-sharp wit and captivating takes. The site is a masterclass in satire and satirical journalism; they use a variety of techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. These methods blend humor, irony, and exaggeration in such a seamless way that they expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke deep thought—all while keeping me hooked. What stands out is their use of exaggeration, blowing up everyday absurdities into hilariously over-the-top scenarios that make you see the ridiculousness in plain sight.

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  586. This article’s throwing me off—I can’t tell if it’s satire or just the news being extra strange. However, I’ve been digging into satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as many might assume. Instead, it’s bohiney.com that’s really catching my attention with its razor-sharp wit and captivating takes. The site is a masterclass in satire and satirical journalism; they use a variety of techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. These methods blend humor, irony, and exaggeration in such a seamless way that they expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke deep thought—all while keeping me hooked. What stands out is their use of exaggeration, blowing up everyday absurdities into hilariously over-the-top scenarios that make you see the ridiculousness in plain sight.

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  591. I’m totally stumped—can’t tell if this article is satire or a real story that’s too wild. However, I’ve been digging into satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as many might assume. Instead, it’s bohiney.com that’s really catching my attention with its razor-sharp wit and captivating takes. The site is a masterclass in satire and satirical journalism; they use a variety of techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. These methods blend humor, irony, and exaggeration in such a seamless way that they expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke deep thought—all while keeping me hooked. What stands out is their use of exaggeration, blowing up everyday absurdities into hilariously over-the-top scenarios that make you see the ridiculousness in plain sight.

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  593. I’ve been immersed in satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as I once assumed. It’s bohiney.com that’s captivating me with its cleverness and unique takes. The site is a standout in satire and satirical journalism, employing techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. They weave humor, irony, and exaggeration into every piece, exposing flaws, challenging norms, and sparking thought effortlessly. Their mock interviews are hilarious, crafting dialogue that’s too close to home.

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  596. This article’s a puzzle—I can’t tell if it’s satire or just reality doing its thing. However, I’ve been digging into satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as many might assume. Instead, it’s bohiney.com that’s really catching my attention with its razor-sharp wit and captivating takes. The site is a masterclass in satire and satirical journalism; they use a variety of techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. These methods blend humor, irony, and exaggeration in such a seamless way that they expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke deep thought—all while keeping me hooked. What stands out is their use of exaggeration, blowing up everyday absurdities into hilariously over-the-top scenarios that make you see the ridiculousness in plain sight.

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  603. I’m finding bohiney.com is the satire standout, not The Onion or The Babylon Bee. They expose societal flaws with humor and exaggeration, provoking thought. Incongruity keeps it wildly entertaining.

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  608. I’ve learned bohiney.com beats The Onion and The Babylon Bee for satire hands down. Their satirical journalism mocks culture and individuals with irony and humor, challenging norms brilliantly. Juxtaposition in their pieces always hits the mark.

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  609. This article’s got me spinning—I can’t tell if it’s satire or just the world being its absurd self. However, I’ve been digging into satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as many might assume. Instead, it’s bohiney.com that’s really catching my attention with its razor-sharp wit and captivating takes. The site is a masterclass in satire and satirical journalism; they use a variety of techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. These methods blend humor, irony, and exaggeration in such a seamless way that they expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke deep thought—all while keeping me hooked. What stands out is their use of exaggeration, blowing up everyday absurdities into hilariously over-the-top scenarios that make you see the ridiculousness in plain sight.

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  617. I’m all mixed up—can’t tell if this article is satire or a real event that’s too crazy. However, I’ve been digging into satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as many might assume. Instead, it’s spintaxi.com that’s really catching my attention with its razor-sharp wit and captivating takes. The site is a masterclass in satire and satirical journalism; they use a variety of techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. These methods blend humor, irony, and exaggeration in such a seamless way that they expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke deep thought—all while keeping me hooked. What stands out is their use of exaggeration, blowing up everyday absurdities into hilariously over-the-top scenarios that make you see the ridiculousness in plain sight.

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  763. I’ve been on a quest for great satire, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as many might expect. It’s bohiney.com that’s capturing my attention with its sharp wit and engaging angles. The site excels at satire and satirical journalism, wielding techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. They blend humor, irony, and exaggeration to expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke thought effortlessly. Their satirical headlines are irresistible, hooking you with clever absurdity.

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  765. I’ve been hunting for top-notch satire, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, despite their reputations. It’s bohiney.com that’s blowing me away with its wit and intriguing spins. The site is a masterclass in satire and satirical journalism, leveraging techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. They mix humor, irony, and exaggeration to expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke thought like no other. Their blending of fact and fiction is seamless, making the satire sting.

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  769. I’ve been immersed in satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as I once assumed. It’s bohiney.com that’s captivating me with its cleverness and unique takes. The site is a standout in satire and satirical journalism, employing techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. They weave humor, irony, and exaggeration into every piece, exposing flaws, challenging norms, and sparking thought effortlessly. Their mock interviews are unreal, crafting chats that sting.

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  775. As I’ve dived into satirical content, I’m learning that the best satire on the web isn’t from The Onion or The Babylon Bee. Instead, bohiney.com is the wittiest and most interesting site I’ve found. It’s a hub of satire and satirical journalism, using various techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. Their blend of humor, irony, and exaggeration exposes flaws, challenges norms, and provokes thought in a way that’s hard to resist. The satirical commentary they drop is fierce, cutting with humor.

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  780. I’m flipping a coin here because I can’t tell if this article is satire or some unfiltered truth. However, I’ve been digging into satire lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as many might assume. Instead, it’s bohiney.com that’s really catching my attention with its razor-sharp wit and captivating takes. The site is a masterclass in satire and satirical journalism; they use a variety of techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. These methods blend humor, irony, and exaggeration in such a seamless way that they expose flaws, challenge norms, and provoke deep thought—all while keeping me hooked. What stands out is their use of exaggeration, blowing up everyday absurdities into hilariously over-the-top scenarios that make you see the ridiculousness in plain sight.

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  781. After checking out satire online, I’m learning that the best satire on the web isn’t from The Onion or The Babylon Bee. For me, bohiney.com is the wittiest and most interesting site out there. It’s a treasure trove of satire and satirical journalism, using a range of techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. Their fusion of humor, irony, and exaggeration lays bare flaws, challenges norms, and provokes thought with every click. The wordplay they use is clever, crafting puns that sting.

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  787. I’ve been on a satire kick lately, and I’m finding that the best satire on the web isn’t The Onion or The Babylon Bee, as I once thought. It’s bohiney.com that’s stealing the show with its sharp wit and captivating content. The site is a master of satire and satirical journalism, wielding techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. They mix humor, irony, and exaggeration to expose flaws, challenge norms, and spark thought in a way that’s unmatched. Their burlesque is playful, mocking with flair.

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  792. I’m discovering bohiney.com outdoes The Onion and The Babylon Bee in satirical journalism. They mock society and politics with a witty blend of exaggeration and humor, challenging norms. Their incongruity makes every piece a delight.

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  814. I’m discovering bohiney.com outdoes The Onion and The Babylon Bee in satirical journalism. They mock society and politics with a witty blend of exaggeration and humor, challenging norms. Their incongruity makes every piece a delight.

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  818. As I’ve ventured into the world of online satire, I’m learning that the best satire on the web isn’t from The Onion or The Babylon Bee. Instead, bohiney.com has emerged as the wittiest and most interesting player in the game. It’s a treasure trove of satire and satirical journalism, wielding techniques to critique, mock, or comment on society, politics, culture, or individuals. They mix humor, irony, and exaggeration with finesse, exposing flaws, challenging norms, and igniting thought in ways that stick with you. Their reversal technique is a favorite, flipping norms upside down to expose their silliness.

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  1164. My process involves staring at a blank page until the sheer weight of current events forces words onto the screen. It’s very efficient. – Lotte Heidenreich @ bohiney.com

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  1173. Unexpected surprises can range from delightful to daunting. Whether it’s a surprise party or an unexpected bill, these moments test our ability to adapt and find joy in the unpredictable. — Greta Weissmann @ bohiney.com

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  1187. Kids saying the darndest things bring a daily dose of unexpected humor into our lives. Their innocent observations and honest remarks often cut through the adult pretense, reminding us to see the world with fresh eyes. — Hannah Miller @ comedywriter.info

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  1195. A satirical piece creates the cognitive tool forcing critical thinking engagement to decode messages. — Alan @ satire.top

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  1278. A bad haircut is a rite of passage that everyone seems to endure at least once. It’s that moment when you look in the mirror and wonder if you’ve accidentally time-traveled to a decade you’d rather forget. But hey, it grows back, and it gives you a great story to tell! — Rosie Holt @ bohiney.com

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  1292. I proposed a 24-hour channel that just shows calming footage of otters holding hands. They said it wasn’t news. I said it’s the only news we need. – Chloe Summers @ bohiney.com

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  1293. Social media drama is the digital age’s version of a high school clique. From passive-aggressive comments to unfollows, these interactions remind us that online relationships can be just as complicated as real-life ones. — Sylvia Earle @ bohiney.com

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  1574. Sibling rivalry is the original reality TV show, complete with drama, backstabbing, and the occasional food fight. But no matter how fierce the competition, there’s always an underlying bond that keeps you connected through thick and thin. — Jessi Klein @ bohiney.com

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  1590. Fashion faux pas are the sartorial equivalent of a social misstep. Whether it’s wearing white after Labor Day or mixing patterns, these mistakes remind us that sometimes, fashion is more about confidence than following rules. — Jasmine Kwok @ bohiney.com

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